Episode 17: "I Was ADDICTED To Junk Food" - Healing Your Relationship with Food with Verona Angol, Certified CBT Mindset & Macros Coach



Do you struggle with a "love-hate" relationship with food?

Even if it might not be obvious on the outside, many people actually struggle with their relationship with food - and not even realize it's doing them harm long-term.

And because health and nutrition can conjure up different feelings of shame, guilt, or even apathy (depending on your history with food), it's something that we don't tend to talk about often.

Today we're excited to be joined by Verona Angol, certified CBT Mindset & Macros Nutrition Coach and host of the Lose Weight With Macros Podcast.

Verona shares her own personal journey from working in IT and giving into constant cravings, to experiencing deep transformation through the help of a counselor - and the ultimate Counselor - to now helping others, too, through Mindset & Macros Coaching.

Hear how she went from eating McDonald's every single day and self-sabotaging through binge eating and body shame... to experiencing the Holy Spirit's help in finally learning to nourish not just her body, but also her mind, heart, and soul.

We also dive into the psychology behind our relationship with food and nutrition, how to prevent yo-yo dieting and legalistic mindsets – as well as practical ways to cultivate a balanced and disciplined approach to what and how we eat, without losing the joy of food and fellowship.

We hope this episode empowers you to enjoy a healthier, freer, and God-honoring relationship with what (and how) you consume into the body he's given you!


TOPICS:

  • 0:00 - Intro

  • 2:12 - How Verona's food addictions & binge-eating led her to becoming a Nutrition Coach

  • 10:20 - How God helped her identify the roots of her emotional eating

  • 13:36 - Our bodies know more than we think

  • 15:39 - How to not become unhealthily obsessed with health & body image

  • 21:38 - Why most people struggle with healthy nutrition

  • 27:30 - How inviting the Holy Spirit into her struggles with food changed everything

  • 31:30 - Being mindful of food in the context of fellowship & social events

  • 35:58 - Verona's hot take on cheat days

  • 40:15 - Practical steps & last encouragements


ABOUT OUR GUEST:

Verona Angol is a certified CBT Mindset & Macros Coach who helps women who want to lose weight do it for good - without complicated diets. She uses her experiences of being a former self-sabotaging binge eater to now teaching others about tracking macros, easy meal prepping, and managing emotional eating. She is based in London, and is the host of the Lose Weight With Macros Podcast. You can access her free resources and/or connect with her at https://vanutritioncoaching.co.uk.


GET MORE HELPFUL RESOURCES IN THE EPISODE REFLECT & APPLY GUIDE


Transcript

We often compartmentalize our physical health apart from our spiritual health. It's a topic that isn't discussed much in society; we don't hear about it often.

Instead, we come across tips and how-tos on how to get fit, be physically healthy, or on the opposite end, we receive a lot of advice on growing closer to God and deepening our faith. 

However, the intersection of both is rarely explored.

And today, we're going to talk about this because both Alex and I have experienced this firsthand, especially me, just recently, in fact, over this past year. I wish I had known about this earlier in my life.

This conversation we're having today is meant to leave you inspired and hopefully reinvigorated to really view your health through a new lens.

Hello and welcome back, everyone, to the podcast! Today, we have a special guest, but before we introduce her, we wanted to discuss why this topic matters and why it's so important.

If you've clicked on this and you're listening now, you already know that we're talking about nutrition and health and how it intersects with our spiritual well-being.

So much of the world is focused on optimizing physical health, with advice on eating all the right things and engaging in the proper physical activities. However, we don't often discuss how to approach health from a spiritual perspective, aligning our actions with God's ways and avoiding an unhealthy or fear-driven mentality.

And today, we have a special guest, her name is Verona, and she also has her own podcast, which I'm sure she'll talk about as well. Alex and I both love listening to it; she covers various topics, from tracking macros to mindset shifts, providing practical ways to assist you on your fitness and nutrition journey.

But yeah, Verona, welcome to the podcast, and thank you for being here!

Thank you for having me; what a lovely introduction. I’m like: oh, that's me! That’s me! Thank you for having me.

Yeah, thanks for being here! Verona is joining us from the UK as well, so it's very late her time, and we're truly honored to have you here with us.

I'd love to hear a bit about your backstory and how you got into food and nutrition, and maybe share a little bit about how your faith intertwines with that.

You know the saying that goes, "God turned your mess into a message"? Well, that's precisely what happened to me.

For about 20 years, I look a lot younger than I am, so I'll be 40 by the end of the year, but about half of my life literally was a struggle with food.

I went between two opposite extremes, from not having enough to eating the same meal of tuna and rice every day, and to this day, I don't like tuna. But tuna and rice were my go-to meal prep.

Then, around the age of 16, I fell into the habit of discovering the golden arches, the yellow arches, and indulging in a chicken burger and fries.

And I had that every day in college. And then when I came home, I'd have the same things, no nutrition, there was definitely no exercise, and that was literally for 20 years.

And then it kind of grew into, “I quite like this. It's like my little companion, my sidekick, and then it turned into: happiness, anger, loneliness, sadness - It was there, for everything. Whereas you'd go to, you know, you go to God, you go to the Bible, you go to somebody, I went to food. 

Food was the one that's solved all my problems, in air quotes. And then that later spiraled into just like a pull on addiction to food.

You are in IT, but you also do nutrition coaching. Like, how did that lead you to doing both of those things right now?

I've been, you know, saved now for over 20 years, so that was something the first thing, you know, when you're fresh and they're like, "Oh my goodness, where can I serve? I just want to get in. I want to get plugged in, and I want to serve," and this was one of the first areas that I served to be served in, like the audiovisual ministry.

So, I was plugging in cables and doing everything, and I was just very, very like, "Where does this go? What's why is this wrong? What's happening here?" And I was kind of backtracked from there and just sort of things, like a little bit of a geeky, but I liked it.

And then, loved IT at school, and then that's when it led to being the project support officer, supporting the project manager. Then it got to a point where I was like, "No, I want to actually be a project manager because that's what was given me, the spirit of the gift of administration." So just that natural order and bringing things together.

It's good, but it's a lot of stress where you see a lot of people just, staff as well, it's so funny. We have a canteen at work, and then it's recently, they've just put all of these snack machines. How can you have a canteen with healthy food and then they've got loads of snack machines, and the people don't go to the healthy food. They're go to the snack machines. Me included sometimes, but it's just literally funny how we're wired to do certain things until we break those habits or mindsets. But yeah, that's kind of how my journey started in IT, really.

Food and nutrition are completely different.

But I love the overlap, though, because you can see the overlap that you're talking about, like, you specifically like to see the problems and then like, you know, kind of troubleshoot, investigate, dig deeper, and then find the solution and also help people to find the solutions.

So I feel like that you can see that common thread in both of those areas that you work in, which is great. I think it just shows that you're, you've already been attuned to the giftings God given you. And now he's just like, redirecting you to a different area to use it. Exciting.

Can I ask about your period eating the great old McDonald's? When you were eating those burgers for so many consecutive days, weeks, months, maybe even years. How did you feel? I mean, you mentioned you felt you were addicted, but how would you describe that feeling in your life?

Good question. So in terms of the nutrition, there are some professionals who don't believe you can be addicted to food. And my thing is, I kind of use this one on the podcast a lot. My thing is maybe they've not really been addicted to, and it's not in the common sense of substance misuse alone, but where you constantly go to the same thing, doing the same things expecting something different, that becomes addictive behaviors.

And that's how old processed food, which is the new term now for aka junk food, but that's how ultra-process food is now designed, to keep us coming back for more.

And it tastes nice. So let's not pretend, it does taste nice, but for me, back then, because it came from the place of poverty. And I wasn't saved growing up as a Christian, so when you don't have enough money, or when I didn't have enough money, and like I said, having the one meal is either chicken and rice for the whole week to learn rice or corned beef and rice, which is kind of like a mashed spam kind of thing, and then we have that with rice every day for weeks.

And then, I turned 16, and I discovered college.

I was like, "This is… This! Man.” I'd never had that before, and it was just that euphoric rush, that endorphin rush that you tend to get anyway when you have the um ultra-processed food, and your brain just kind of is that fireworks in your brain.

Oh, I like this. This, associated it with loneliness, this, associated with fear and insecurity… Together, oh, it makes me feel good. I'm alive. 

It then creates the neurological pathways to say, right, “when you feed it this way, this is the feeling that you've got last time. I'm now going to etch it in your brain. And now we're going to always do that… until we come to Christ.”

And it's like, oh no, that's a strong hold has built up, Lord. What is it that you need to do to tear down those strongholds?

And the scripture that God gave me to found the business on is Romans 12:2, about being transformed by changing your mind or changing the way that you think, depending on the version that you use.

But that is literally what God did with me, and it's changing my mind, identifying the root cause of where it came from, which was rejection. And then now, opening up the door to where, okay, this is rejection; it's all connected, asking for healing from that, and then undoing the years of the way the ultraprocessed food made me feel - tired, sluggish, I developed acid reflux, the obvious, put on weight.

I didn't weigh myself, because I didn't want to know how much I weighed. But I could see was fat. I could see I was overweight. I could feel it in my body, having almost like, asthma attacks. I don't have asthma, being in because I couldn't breathe, there was no exercise and stuff like that.

So, physically, and the brain, the brain fog walking into a room and having to physically turn around and be like, "What did I come in there for?" literally retracing my whole steps until I got it, but the physical effects, I think, outweigh this short period of “oh, this tastes nice,” and that's what affected me for many years afterward.

Wow. Wow, I can totally relate on some levels. I'm sure people listening, we can relate to, like, you, you kind of just normalize, almost, these symptoms, I think, you know, when you go into a room and you're like, "Oh, I'm just, yeah, I'm just forgetful, or I'm just scatterbrained," and are “just tired.” You know, that's just something I'm so used to for so many years, and I think for me, as you're talking about your journey, I can totally relate to that because I'm even in my own process, even this week, I learned that some certain foods like peanuts and other foods my body doesn't do that well with and actually reacts to in a negative way.

But no one ever told me that; I always ate peanut butter growing up. I loved eating McDonald's with my family. So there's like this nostalgic, you know, the comfort part of food as well, it tastes good. Like, why would this harm me in any way of other people eat it? It must be okay for me. 

And as well as what you were saying, like the rejection, the emotional eating, right? That it’s just like so complicated when it comes to food.

So I kind of want to dig in more - what you're saying was so important. You were saying that like, with God, we know that we can transform our minds and can you just unpack that a bit for our listeners? Like how, in your own journey, how did you overcome this, almost, I would say, almost like, addiction to like fast food, processed foods, right? Like, I think all of us can relate to that. 

How did you recognize, first of all, okay, this needs to change, and then second of all, what were the concrete steps that you took

 So it's twofold in that it wasn't a, “okay, yeah, now I need to change my habits. I'm happy, I'm gonna change my habits,” because if you're in a stage where, you know, you need to lose weight, you know, you need to lose weight, but it gets to a point where it's overwhelming that you just don't know which step to take first.

So it's like, I'll deal with it when I need to deal with it. So it was twofold in that there were outbursts in my behavior, and I'm like, "Where is this little thing coming from?" So that is one area where God kind of led me to go and get counseling for that.

And that's where it was identified. That is the root of rejection. And finding out the root was, I was able to deal with the fruit. Because the fruit was being addicted to food or ultra-processed food or junk food, and then the fruit of that was putting on weight. And then the fruit of that was the health issues.

So once that happened, after every session that I had, it was a long counseling session. But God used that particular person, and at the end of every session, the Holy Spirit was like, "Right now you need to pray through this," and every, I had eight sessions, eight weeks. Consistently, the Holy Spirit, on the drive home, I was like, "Oh my goodness, Holy Spirit. Yes, I'm praying for this. I'm praying for that."

It was just so exciting and so freeing. And that was my journey. It was not a walk in the park, but that's where the root was identified. And then, the whole mindset thing, that's where God showed me: It's your mind. How you think about food, the relationship that I had with food, and what it meant is, it’s almost like a personified food.

Food became a person where, before I could pick up the phone to call a friend, it's "Oh, my friend is Deliveroo, or Uber Eats, or whatever else,” and that was where the pattern began.

And that was over 20 years.

And it was my health that said, "Something's wrong," and I went to doctor’s. Doctor said, "Yeah, you need to change. Do you eat a lot of spicy food? A lot of fast food? Do you drink a lot of fizzy drinks?"

I said, "Yes, doctor."

He said, "You need to change your diet."

I said, "Okay, doctor," left, and carried on doing my habits, and that happened three times, that happened three times, but then the worst… it got progressively worse.

I didn't listen. It's like, I didn't if it wasn't for that wake-up with my health, then I would, probably not even be here, to be honest. Not be here in terms of teaching and encouraging others because I was just so knee-deep. I didn't connect everything that was going on, until I had the counseling.

And in that is identifying the root cause of where it happened. 

Is it a breakup? Is it insecurities? Is it boredom? Is it lonely? Once you identify the root, then partner with the Holy Spirit to help you do that.

I feel like there's a lot of people, even in our own circles who, they go through life, and they keep the status quo, but they don't realize that there is something wrong because they've lived in it for so long.

Like eating in a particular way, not exercising, they're just so accustomed to it that, "Oh, everything's fine," until you get like a medical emergency, and you don't want to get there.

So if you were to say to someone, who is living in that status quo, everything looks fine on the outside, what would you say to someone? To help them understand or even recognize within themselves. If something is “wrong.”

We might not know what is, but we know. So, we get used to our bodies in terms of how, we are, for example. But you know it's something that's not that normal that you're living.

So, for example, I don't know, you could be walking up the stairs, you're not, "oh, I know. I always have knee pain," but that's a little bit sharper than it is normally. And it's that little thing that's not “normal”, or what you usually have that is now time to go to the doctors.

So, for example, in terms of when I had acid reflux and the doctor diagnosed it three times, it was then understanding, the niggling for me was burning in my throat. And then it got progressively worse when it wasn't just, when I had chocolate, for example, which is a trigger, it then started to happen with spicy food, and it started to happen more consistently.

So, although it was, I had symptoms when I had chocolate, it now got more frequent because I was choosing to just continue what I did, but ignoring the warning signals between the little sore throat thinking, 'Oh, it's a cold,' ‘cause that's what happens when I normally have a cold, I have a sore throat first, but no, that wasn't it.

Your body is telling you your diet that you're doing needs to stop. You need to have- that was no vegetables, nothing in it. It was just pure ultra-processed food.

As you're talking about this, it's reminding me also that so much of this is also tied with our family and our cultures and, we were talking about this growing up, like we have these really fond, positive memories with our parents taking us to fast food restaurants like Jack in the Box, McDonald's, or, for me, I got Little Caesars often times, which I think fed this, literally fed, a bad pizza obsession.

It isn’t until we're older when we start getting these symptoms when we’re like, "Oh, something’s kind of not right," and then we wait till it builds up till it's too serious. 

And I'm glad we're having this conversation because I think so many people can actually prevent it before they get to the ER or to the hospital.

At the same time, I feel like there are, on the other side of the spectrum, there are a lot of people nowadays, especially in the Bay Area where we are or in the tech industry, they do talk a lot about health and fitness, and it almost becomes an obsession at the same time, right?

It's either you neglect it or either you have obsessed about it, and so can you kind of talk- because in your field you concentrate on this a lot, you talk a lot about it. How do you, as a believer, approach being healthy, maintaining your spiritual and physical health, and in a healthy way and not like a obsessive, fear-driven way?

I'll be honest, there was a period of time last year that, you know how the whole area on social media, the reels started to blow up?

And then I got to a point where I was starting to be like, "No, I want that, I need, I need to have this. I need, I need that," and it's like, “Okay, no. So my arms don't look like this. What do I need to, I need to do more biceps. I need to do all of this,” and it's right to be the whole comparison and I'm like, “no, no, what? No, Lord, I'm not squatting enough,” and I was like- I need to stop, and I didn't delete Instagram. But, I should have, I didn't really Instagram, but it was something that I was able to recognize, “Lord, this is, this isn't right here. So I need to pray this through. And then walk that out.”

So I'm saying all of that to say it is a whole- where I talk about Romans 12, it is the whole renewing of your mind.

And it's… a long process, it doesn't come like yesterday, and I think sometimes we can, like you said, be on both ends of the spectrum, one end we’re this, and then the other end is like, "Oh my gosh, I need to be like her." But identify when that is coming from.

Because one of my, favorite Scriptures that I've learned to read. Well, obviously that I read. But one of my famous Scriptures that I read is Ephesians. And, I like to read in all translations and I’m like, “oh my gosh, I need to get the meat, and I just need to understand it.” 

Ephesians 1 is quite a good chapter. Where Paul starts to greet the Church of Ephesus. I'm not going to preach here. (Preach it!) But it's all highlighted in my Bible app, but Ephesians 2: Made Alive with Christ: “Once you were dead because of your disobedience and your many sins. You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil—the commander of the powers in the unseen world. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God.”

Now, I know it's talking to a specific person. But my point is, verse 3: “All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature.”

So even in food, we can passionately desire to eat more than our bodies need in that moment in time. And then we just fall into that track where it's like, “Oh yeah, this tastes good.” Yes, it tastes good, but then you're leading into that pattern of glutteony and overeating.

And then my point here is saying it's about getting into the Word, especially with Ephesians, and understanding who Christ calls you to be.

And until we get this understanding, then we're going to continue repeating the same patterns and habitual things that keep us entangled in a place that God has not called us to live in or be in - because it's not easy. But that is where the whole renewing of my mind comes from.

And even if you catch a glimpse of, like I said, on Instagram, I'm comparing myself to these people, and I was already- this was last year, not in the area where I was just starting.

But it’s, “Lord, I caught a glimpse of that,” taking it back to: “Okay. So who do you say I am? And standing on that Word. It's not whether you believe it at that moment in time, because the enemy is going to try and come and rob you of that truth anyway, in the instant, if you're already comparing yourself to somebody.

But even Psalm 139, I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. I'm wonderfully complex. There is never another me.

In fact, I look the way that I look because this is how you’ve designed me to look. Okay, I'm a little bit more fluffy, but help me to be able to do that.

And one Scripture that really, really did help me, James said, "Faith without works is dead." Oh, so that is where I was like, 'Okay, I've got faith, because I could pray for someone to meet their husband. I could pray for somebody to get a job. I could pray for someone to have breakthrough in finances. But I couldn't understand the connection with why am I eating the way I am, if I am a child of God? I don't get it.' I couldn't get the connection.

When I understood faith about works is dead, it's now saying, 'Okay, God, I've got faith. I've got faith that can move mountains (hypothetically speaking). However, I need the works. I don't know what the works look like, show me what the works look like in practical terms, how to lose weight, show me the steps that I need to take. And give me the strength and the courage to continue to do it, even though, even in the days where I don't see things happening, I don't see the scale moving. I don't feel like any weight's coming off. I don't feel healthy. I still feel the same. Help me in that.”

And that was a gradual thing that is the foundation of it for me. And that's what I would encourage anybody in.

Of the people that you meet through your podcast or the people you coach, why do people struggle with this? Is there a common theme?

Of why people struggle with in terms of nutrition and weight loss?

Yeah, in terms of renewing their mind.

That's a good question.

This is a deep podcast. We’re unpacking.

I don't think it's– we’re sold an image. We're sold a belief that “we have to do this,” or “because we earn a certain amount of money, we have to eat this food, because people who are in this job or profession, they only eat this food or they only drink this tea,” and it becomes a societal pressure.

The areas that you live in, so wherever you're in a poor social economic background, your family dynamics, your… Loads of different things, external influences, and your internal influences.

So what you see, what you believe about food, what you believe about yourself, do you believe that God can actually help you through these things?

And it's a combination of things. And once you break down and identify where those - for me, it's always going to come back to the roots - Once you break down where it comes from, then it's about, "Okay, so how can I practically walk through that? Do I need counseling? Do I need to get healing on that? Is there anything else? Where does it come from? Is there anything else that's been influenced in that?"

It's a big, deep podcast, but it is a deep healing.

And I don’t think you know that until one you become a believer, because if you're not- some of the clients that I have are not Christian, so it could be, "I don't know why. I keep, you know, I'm dieting one minute and then the next I yo-yo diet and then I just don't know. I'm good throughout the week. And then by the weekend, I just blow it,” and that pattern, that habitual pattern keeps happening because there's a root there, because there's a stronghold there.

But if you're not in Christ, you don't know that. But even being in Christ, it’s identifying the stronghold, identifying the root, and then… because He gives us the tools, God gives us the tools and there was something I wrote here about what someone could do is inviting the Holy Spirit in, and it's about the Holy Spirit doesn't come into places- well, I believe, the Holy Spirit doesn't come into the places where He's not invited. He doesn't just, "Well, hey, Holy Spirit here. What's happening in here? What's happening in this room?”

He might point and tap on those areas and be like, "Okay, yeah, we need to work on that. I'm gonna wait until you're ready for you to let me in. I'm a gentleman like that. I won't come in like that.”

Not a party crasher. Right, absolutely not.

But asking the Holy Spirit in to help me change everything. So John 14:26 in the NASB version, “But the Helper,” it says, “the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you.”

Now, obviously, Jesus was speaking to the disciples, but two things that we can take from the verse were “Helper” and “Teacher.”

So I went to the Bible dictionary and the word Helper and the Hebrew word is "ezer," which literally means “help, helper,” and it's the same word used of God 66 times in the Scripture.

I know it's going to be at the end of the Bible more times than that, but it's almost like once in every book of the Bible, you can see God as a Help and a Helper.

And it speaks of, the Hebrew word "ezer,” it speaks of God's strength, power, protection, help, and being a rescue.

So when you come to know, "Okay, I'm sending out a lifeline, God. I need you to be my "Ezer." I need you to be my help. You already are a rescue. Rescue me from the things that-”

Like David, David kept saying… David was so transparent with God. He was like, "No, I need- you need to help me," not quite like this, but he was just so transparent with God.

"I'm a man of unclean lips, Bathsheba…" he literally understood that “You are my rescue.” 

Psalm 91 and all of those things, where David would start to write those psalms. Go back to Psalms, go back to the well-known verses, and ask God to help you understand why you were doing the same things over and over again.

But you have to want it. You do have to want it.

Yeah, that's so good. It makes me think about how like a common theme actually that keeps coming up in our conversations on this podcast with other guests, too, on different topics, from money, to spiritual formation, to working, to now health, is how so many of us try to, by willpower, force ourselves to change and say, “we need to check off all these boxes. We need to have it all. We need to follow this formula.”

Instead of just humbling ourselves and being like, "God, I can't do this on my own. Like I need you," and just like you said, like the power of the Holy Spirit.

But I feel like that's the challenging part. I'm just processing. I feel like most of us just want the quick fix. So we just want, you know, something we can control, we can do it quickly, get it over with, have results.

But just like you were saying it is a process. It's a patient, persistent walk with God and allowing him to transform you from the inside out.

And I'm curious, you know, this I feel like it does- I'm imagining, as you're going through this process, rewiring your mind and asking the Holy Spirit to help you, it also affects your spiritual walk with him, your relationship with him.

So for you, when you started, you know, digging into nutrition and your own health, how did that impact your own relationship and your faith journey?

When I first started, after having the counseling sessions, I never knew that I could invite him in. 

I- like I said, I was praying for everyone else fervently, praying and believing for everybody else, but I didn't see that there was a connection of, "Oh, you actually care about this part of my life.”

It's not a… “I'll give you everything else apart from that.” It's: “Come in, have access to every part,” and I'm not gonna pretend it’s easy, and be like, "Oh yeah, that was easy.”

You know, when you're hospitable, somebody, you have the gift to hospitality, you know they're like, oh, they love uninvited guests, they love impromptu… The house is always tidy ,and they're always ready to, always tea, there's always milk, and there's always sugar and coffee for them to come in at any time.

It wasn’t like that, it wasn't a walk a park. It wasn't a breeze for me.

Did it affect my relationship with God? It didn't affect my relationship with God, because I didn't invite him into that part in the beginning.

So I was- I saw God do breakthrough in my life and other people's lives. So I knew who God is, I know he does things like that.

I just didn't know how to do the two. Until I had the counseling. And somebody who doesn't go down that route, if you are like, “Okay, God… where are you? God, why you're not helping me? God, why am I not losing this weight?”

That's a hard thing to contend with, but it's not - what I want to encourage you - it’s not that God is intentionally, “you know what, I don't want to answer her today. I think I'm gonna answer Bubba over there, I'm gonna leave you waiting a little bit more,” he doesn't do that.

But it is just about painstakingly waiting and waiting, waiting on God. And asking, is there anything that I could be doing in the waiting? Is there anything that you're saying that I'm not hearing?

For example, we live in a culture where we want microwave results when it comes to weight loss.

Yeah, yeah, lose 10 pounds and it's glam. It's the marketing departments that have got it on lock, and they spent thousands of dollars on their marketing to get you to have their shakes that taste like sand, but they cost 250 dollars.

So true! It sounds like you know this from experience.

Literally, literally personal experience!

And it's like, yes, it's gonna help me lose weight.

So that- you learn these things the hard way.

But my message isn't the whole "lose 10 pounds in 10 days." My message is the gritty message. If you want to do this for good, so you don't come back like you've done so many times before, you've got to get in the messy areas. It's not nice. It's not pretty.

But as I said, it's not... Somebody might just be like, "Well, because I had a breakup, I found food as a comfort, and so it's stuck. It's always just been there. And it's become a habit because your brain now knows, this is what I need to do."

And it's actively like, "Okay, I've heard this before, and… it was just that for me. Maybe I just needed something encouragement to be like, well, I can eat the bread. It's Ezekiel, sprouted white bread. I can eat it. I just don't need to eat the whole loaf."

It's okay to eat bread, but that's active, that's those small, little things, those smaller habits. Small little truths and continuing to speak them. It takes time.

Mmm. It’s about changing your relationship with food to not see it as an enemy or a culprit, but also not something like a crutch for you to rely on or depend on in place of what God actually wants to heal inside of you.

Yeah, I feel like there's often some guilt or shame that's associated with food, like, I can't speak on behalf of women, but I'm only guessing that there is some sort of guilt and shame when they eat certain types of food, which impact their body image.

But at the same time, there's beauty in being able to fellowship with others, and usually, there's food involved. Sometimes it's very dangerous food for your bodies, but they're very tasty. So, how do you find the balance between nourishing your body well, but also experiencing the joy of food with fellowship?

Food and fellowship go together. It is synonymous. It is a well-known thing.

In that area, it’s a challenge. It's, it's a challenge, especially if you think, "See food, eat food." Especially if you have that mentality, you're gonna eat it or even if you've just eaten, "Oh, chips, I'm gonna eat it. Oh, what? Oh, sour cream dip, which is what I like. Oh, I love it." And you just get talking and you’ve just get eaten, it's there.

But if you approach it in a different aspect in terms of... There’s a saying that I like to say, not eating food like it's going to go out of fashion, or it's going to run away. I mean, there's plenty. Because when it's fellowship, there's lots of food.

Bring your tupperware, make sure you eat before that day. Don't come with the... You know what, I'm gonna save my appetite.

Eat. In the beginning of the morning, eat breakfast, protein, carbs, fat, even a fruit parfait, that's protein - Greek yogurt and some fruit, that's great. And if you're gonna have your coffee, have your coffee, have it with a slice of toast and then a boiled egg, that's super simple.

Load up: protein at breakfast and the same at lunch. And then when you have dinner, you’re still having normal foods, but then when you're coming, one, you're not too hungry, and then, by the time, even if you're trying to eat snacks, you're actually like, "Oh my gosh, I'm full up. I'm satisfied."

So you don't feel like you need to come with your empty Tupperware and say, you know what, “Are you're gonna eat that? No? Okay. Anyone gonna eat this?” And you're taking it in, you're taking a doggy bag, taking it home with you.

I'm not speaking from experience, am I? Haha, I am, I am, but it's small things, small little things that you can do, small habits that you can change.

And some days, it might... You, with all the “willpower” in the world, some days you might be like, "Oh my goodness, I have not tasted one of these in a minute," and then you might just overeat.

But if you've had a consistent six weeks of not overeating, when you go to finish it, that's a breakthrough.

And sometimes you might eat a little bit more, but as long as you're seeing progress, that's just one thing. That's a handle, and I believe the enemy will come to try and tempt you with that at any opportunity anywhere, especially if it's been a stronghold or struggle for you for a number of years.

But even in that moment, if you've not done it from a period of time, and then now it's just one and you've managed to stop, that's progress, too.

And that's like a, praise God. Amen. Hallelujah. All up in one moment right there because that's progress, and the enemy does not want any of us to do that.

So, enjoy the fellowship, enjoy the food, bring the Tupperware, save it for a new day. Enjoy, enjoy with your friends and family.

Wow, this is so real. I'm laughing because this literally happened to me yesterday.

What you're saying basically is, don't be legalistic about it, don't shame yourself, but also, you know, celebrate the wins in between.

And I feel personally proud of my win, little win, that Alex helped me with yesterday.

We were at the grocery store. They had these little cups right at the door when you walk in (we literally just worked out). Yeah, to get, you know, healthy foods.

But right when you walk into the door, they had these little cups with these apple pie, like, it's glowing and glistening or in front of you. I'm like, salivating even think about it right now.

But, yeah, these little cups full of apple pie pieces.

And my, my instinct, was just, “I see food, I grab it,” it's free, you know.

But then Alex looked at me, I forgot what you said. Yeah. He's like, “put it down.”

It's not like, oh, you're right, especially because I do have blood sugar problems, I'm trying to reverse my like pre-diabetic stuff, so, yeah. I think in that moment, I could have, you know, felt bad like, “Aw man, why did I give in? Why was I so weak?”

But I feel like, because i've been practicing this muscle of, like, grace for myself, self-compassion, and celebrating the wins, it didn't have that stronghold that, I think it would have used to.

I wanted to ask you about on that topic. Like, do you believe in cheat days? Like, if you were offered a free sample?

No? You're shaking your head?

Shaking my head with passion. I don't know what gym bro decided to bring us into the world, but someone did, and I think this is- Oh I’m getting passionate right now.

Rolling up her sleeves.

Rolling up my sleeves.

This is where people get caught up in the society and the pressures of what everybody else is doing.

So one gym bro says it, or gym girl says it, meaning it came from the like, the body-building, gym bro kind of world. But what people like, who, who are packing a few pounds more than the gym bros forget, is they're already at their destination.

What ends up happening is we see what they have done and we’re like, I want that? I want, I want to eat this. I want tell me what you did, and I will do it.

But you don't because it's too much hard work.

But with the gym bros or the bodybuilding world, they have this day where you have a “refeed day,” and you end up having all of the foods that you want, aka cheat day, as it's kind of got known, and then you end up cheating on your diet.

But the only person you're cheating is yourself out of the results that you're trying to get because you keep doing it.

It's not one meal you have; it's the whole weekend, the whole day, the whole weekend, and then your Monday, it's like, "Oh, like gaining 10 pounds of fat overnight."

You didn't. You got a whole host of sodium, carbs, and water retention. It's not fat overnight if you keep doing it, then the scale is going to tell you what's actually happened, and we don't like it.

But I, absolutely, as you can tell, I'm not a fan of cheat days.

If you want it, eat it. There's my thing. And I don't like, I don't like Oreos, but just because you can eat the whole sleeve of Oreos, do you really need to eat the whole sleeve?

Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

Right. 

But no, if you're gonna let- what to do then for the person, for the second part, that's great, what do I actually do? Because I look forward to a cheat day.

Instead of doing that, start off at the beginning, I track macros, I teach macros, you can download a macro tracking app.

Kind of bypass the calories that they give you because they all give you really restrictive low calories, for some reason, basically their formula.

But instead, you're just getting into the habit of tracking what you're eating. No calories, no macros, not doing any of that. So, you're getting into the habit of understanding what's in your food.

Also, if you're saying, "Right, well, breakfast on Monday, I want to have a fruit parfait, because that's quite easy to do post. Ezekiel toast bread toasted, and then boiled egg, and then you got your coffee and then you've got everything else. But you're mapping out every single thing you have, and then, "Okay, I've got a snack. Oh, you know what? I might have four Oreos today, because I can."

So you've not had... You don't need to wait until Friday. For example, Taco Tuesday, I can have tacos on Monday. I have them on Friday. Pizza, if I want it, I can have it two days in a row.

I'm trying not to make a habit of that, but my point here is you can have it at any day of the week. You just don't need to eat it in the way that we do.

But if you're loading on protein, you're making sure you have enough protein. You're making sure you have enough fiber and complex carbs. Your body is full up to that point anyway, so you're not gonna snack if you're full up. Believe me, there's no space. I've tried, I've tried, especially if you have quite a lot of protein-rich foods, there's no space to open the packet, and I'm like, "I can't, I can't, I can't eat anymore," because your body's already satiated from the foods that you've had earlier on in the day.

But please don't wait till Friday and cheat day. Just eat any day, just don't eat a lot. Don't eat the whole thing. Send me some. I’ll help you.

I like your frame of thinking, though. It's like, instead of thinking, "Oh, I have to wait till Friday to have ‘my’ day," it's like, just normalize taking care of your body and your health, and then you won't feel bad when you do have those moments in between, where you're like, "I can, you know, there's room for a little treat here and there," but then, you know, it's not just the physical part. It's also the mental part that you're addressing.

Well, I know it's late over there in the UK, Verona.

Oh no, we can keep going. I'm alive now.

Haha, after we talked about cheat days.

I'm awake after we talked about cheat days.

Well, we know it's still pretty late, but if you could leave our listeners and viewers with one practical step to take this week, what would it be?

One practical step, other than inviting him in, that’s the biggest one, I’ll circle back to invite him in to help you with that, the Helper and Teacher.

Start where you are. Instead of setting big goals, start where you are. If you're not ready for meal prep, do you have to stand behind the stove and cook for eight hours on a Sunday? Or, I'm at church on Sundays, so that's not going to happen, but do I have to do it on the Saturday before I serve early in the morning?

Start where you are, if meal prep is daunting for you. Start planning your breakfast.

Start where you are and then take one step at a time to go there, and you'll get to where you want to get to, that's fine, but you've got to learn to start small.

I know as millennials and busy people, we want to know the whole story. We're like, "Where am I going, Lord? Come in now, tell me everything, tell me the details."

But just start where you are. Because once you accept and know where you are, then you can accept: “Okay, this is where I'm at. You're not having any unrealistic expectations. You're not setting yourself up for failure. You're accepting, ‘I'm actually 50 pounds higher or more, a heavier than I should be. Okay, well, I'm not going to stay here, though, because now I'm gonna do something about it.’”

But you have to accept where you are.

Right. Yeah. That's good, instead of judging yourself or where you are, just observing it, and being like, this is what's going on. This is what I wanna do, and how can I get my, how can I invite God in and also take steps slowly and that direction?

So, yeah, thank you so much, Verona. I feel like this is just the surface, or the tip of the iceberg. 

But I just want to encourage, you know, people listening or watching this, this is real. Like what Verona is talking about here, I have been through myself. I think Alex has been blessed enough not to struggle as much with junk food and nutrition.

In terms of how I eat now is totally different from how I ate before I met Alex, but yeah, in terms of just like prioritizing your health, your nutrition, it is a really hard battle for a lot of people.

So just have compassion for yourself if you're struggling with it, don't judge yourself. Just like Verona said, just recognize where you are, and then get help.

Like I think that's a really big thing that many people don't do. They're like, "I'm just powerless, I can't do this, I just, whenever I see food, I just give in, you know?" And a big part of it is working with a coach or a counselor, or someone who can really walk with you through the process and help you navigate, you know, what has been normalized to you that shouldn't be normalized and how can you navigate your way through it?

So with that said, Verona, if anyone wants to reach out to you and work with you or learn more about your podcast, how can they find out more?

So the podcast is "Lose Weight with Macros." So you can find me on... I can't get on it over here because it's only available in the States. But I'm even on iHeartRadio, which I see a lot of you listen on, iHeartRadio, Stitcher, but I heard that's not gonna be around for much longer. Spotify, and Apple, and Google.

So, "Lose Weight with Macros," you can find me there. And then the website is vanutritioncoaching.co.uk. I say it slowly because I've heard some people say because of the dialect, "vanutritioncoaching.co.uk," because some people like what the word, and it's just, it's not, it's my accent, it's like, I love your accent but I don’t understand what you're saying. So I have to say it really slowly.

We love your accent.

Yeah, we'll also link all that in the description, but yes, in case anyone isn't reading the description, you can just go to that website, find Verona on social and on the platforms. And yeah, thank you so much. Is there anything else that you want to leave with our listeners before we close?

It's a journey. It's not a quick fix journey. Go with the professional that you’re suited.

So, if you're somebody who wants a scripted meal plan, meaning “I need to know what I'm eating on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Sunday,” coaches and personal trainers are not qualified to do that, but a dietitian is.

So if you're somebody who says, "No, I need this," then own that. There's nothing wrong with that, own where you are. Own who God's called you to be, and then run with that.

A dietitian, counselor, whoever it is, as long as you are getting the help, however you get it, as long as it's not fad diets. Because we don't need that anymore, once and done, that we're done with.

But do the method that you know you are going to continue being consistent with and you enjoy.

Thank you so much, Verona. We hope this encourages everybody, and yeah, can't wait to hear about your guys' own journeys or how this spoke to you and helped you.

You can leave in the comments on YouTube or even reach out to Verona directly or ourselves if you have any questions about this topic.

But we pray that this blesses you and helps you to walk closer to God as you also pursue the fullness of life, physically and spiritually, that he desires for you.

Amen.

Thank you so much for joining us for another episode. We really hope that this blesses you and ministers to you, and really empowers you to know that you are not a victim to whatever struggle you have when it comes to food or health or body image, whatever it is.

I think, in fact, so few of us openly talk about these struggles, especially in the context of Christianity or church because it's like, oh if you know your identity in Christ, this should all be a no-brainer.

But I feel like there's just so much more underneath the layers. Know that you're not alone if you struggle with any of this.

I myself, for a long time in my own journey, thought I must be the only one struggling with this because like no one else really talks about it openly, especially in the context of faith. And we will definitely have more follow-up episodes because I feel like there's just so much more to get into.

But if you have any questions that we can unpack or any revelations, takeaways, or reflections that you have around this topic, we would love to hear from you. Please leave them in the YouTube comments.

I'm not just asking you to comment, like, subscribe to all the things, but we genuinely want to hear from you and get feedback from you, because we want to make sure what we're producing is catering to your needs, what you want to learn, what you want to talk about.

And the second thing is, if this blessed you and helped you, please share it with a friend, share it with somebody in your life because you never know how this could really impact people. They might be struggling privately or they might never have even considered how physical health could intersect with their spiritual health.

And we will see you back again for another riveting conversation as we unpack real-life questions and tensions through God's lens!
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Episode 18: From Confusion to CLARITY: A 4-Part Framework For Discerning God's Will ("Good" vs. "Should")

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Episode 16: What is “Self-Care” vs. “Soul Care” (& Why Does It Matter)?